I will warn everyone at the onset that this is a rant.  A  long rant specifically about AT&T wireless. 
My oldest son graduated from high school this month.  As a graduation gift, his grandmother and aunt gave him $100 in AT&T gift cards to put towards the purchase of a new cell phone.
So off we went yesterday to the local AT&T corporate store.  We were greeted by a very nice young man who was helpful and patient with my rather indecisive son.  Unfortunately my son was not eligible for an upgrade on his phone for another 11 months.  He did not like either of the under $100 phones that he was eligible to purchase.  They were older models, bulky and not "cool".  The two that he did like were both well over $200 regular price.   Now to one of the main reasons that service matters - Mike, our great salesman, was trying to come up with creative ways to find my son the phone that he wanted at the best possible price.  He finally came up with a very creative solution.  I already have a Family Plan with 3 lines.  If I was to add an additional line to my plan for only $9.99 per month (and given what my cell phone bill already is, that's peanuts), then my son could purchase the new phone as if it was for the new line at less than 1/3 of the regular price.  Happy smiles all around!
Mike proceeds to process the order of a new line and the purchase of the phone.  Now the first thing that AT&T has got all wrong.  Their corporate store sales reps have to call the same customer service number that everyone else does.  There is no special direct line for them which results in them being put in the call queue and on hold.  So after 10+ minutes on hold, Mike speaks to a "customer care" rep.  He then proceeds to tell me that he can not add another line to my account because I have a charged off account with AT&T.   Now how it is possible that I have 3 working phone lines with a charged off account? How it is possible that I have only had 1 account in my own name with AT&T ever and that one for approximately a year ?  After a half hour on the phone with customer service, we (the customer care rep and I)  finally determined that when I added my sons 2 lines to my account, they 1) changed my account number without telling me; 2) only transferred some of the charges from the old account number to the new one; 3) left the old account number open with a balance on it.  So there has been a balance on an old account for several months now.  That account was eventually put into collections and charged off (hello negative point on my credit report!)  All of this without my knowledge. I eventually spent almost 2 hours on the phone talking to 2 different customer service people, a customer service supervisor, a receivables/collections manager and a customer service manager.   What was utterly ridiculous is that I was standing in the middle of an AT&T corporate store, full of customers, arguing with these individuals.  They were fully aware that I was in the store and did not seem to have any concerns whatsoever that I was pointing out that not only had they made the original mistake, they could no longer tell me what I owed them for because the bills were no longer available because of how old they were and that their actions, in addition to failing to notify or bill me, caused a negative entry on my credit report.  They failed to acknowledge that this discussion could negatively impact the sales in that store that day, as well as the reputation of the sales people in the store (who, by the way, were absolutely wonderful!) .  What I have failed to point out up to this point is that the balance that I was being harrassed about was $76.22 (less than half of my monthly bill!).  Rather than someone stepping up and saying, "we're sorry, Ms. Bell, we understand that this was a mistake made on our part and we are going to waive this charge and have the collection report reversed"  No, they were rude, stubborn and obnoxious.  They acknowledged that a mistake had been made, but continued to insist that they only was to resolve it was for me to pay the now $89.47 immediately and then it would take up to 2 weeks for them to reverse my account.
This was no longer acceptable. I had to threaten to discontinue my service, which even meant giving up my precious lifeline, my iphone.  I had to threaten to sue them for negatively impacting my credit report (damage to my reputation), harrasement  and mental anguish (mine and my son's).  And I promised a blog post on my experience!  After all of that, we finally reached a compromise.  I had repeatedly told them that if I owed the charges, I was not disputing paying them.  What I did not know was did I owe the charges or were they simply an error also.  The compromise consisted of them closing the old account, transferring only the $76.22 to my current account, removing all indications that the account had ever been in collections, including reporting to the credit bureaus, and locating and sending me copies of all of the bills that include the past due amount.  I will review those bills and if they are charges I legitimately owe, I will pay them.  If I do not think they are, I will be allowed to dispute them.  They would also immediately remove any prohibitions on my account so that we could add the line and purchase my son his phone. Now why did it take 2+ hours, several elevations of my blood pressure and  2 people walking out of the AT&T store without making their purchase to reach this point? 
Because somewhere along the way, AT&T, like too many other companies out there have lost sight of the fact that SERVICE MATTERS!  KINDNESS & COMMON COURTESY MATTER!  FLEXIBILITY MATTERS!  EMPOWERING YOUR STAFF WITH THE ABILITY TO MAKE DECISIONS THAT WILL RESOLVE CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS MATTERS!
Now, I do have to qualify this story with a note that this is the very first time I have had bad service from AT&T, in their stores, online and with their customer service.  Most of my experiences with them have been very good, but this is the one that will stick with me.  This is the one that I will tell people about.  This is the one that will nag at me everytime I pay that monthly bill.  This is the one that again makes me sad and concerned about our society and the apparent slow degradation of our basic humanity, sense of civility, basic manners and respect for the concerns and feelings of others.  I want someone to prove me wrong, is there a company out there that will?

Sometimes things come to us in such a timely manner, that it restores our faith in the patterns of the universe.  After having ignored my ReadBurner & GoogleReader for several days (way too many, don't even ask how long!)  I started to wade through through the massive amount of reading I had in front of me.   As usual, when I have built it up to that lovely 1000+  (you have to love when it is so many that they will intimidate you with 1000+ and not really tell you how many there are!) I'm skimming subjects and titles.  In my haste to clear, I almost skipped over this particular post, but something drew me back.  Not only because it was Gary V, but something about the title resonated with some of my recent musings. 

http://garyvaynerchuk.com/2008/06/05/when-do-you-know-you-have-a-community/

Gary talks about when you know you have a Community (yes capital "C").   Now, I'm not sure that I can ever be as eloquent as Gary, but I'd like to think I share his passion.  His focus is on the social media crowd, but I think his message can be expanded to relationships in all of the varied aspects of our lives.  He reminds us all that community = Communication!  If you are having a dialogue with just one person, you have a Community.  

Gary's words reinforced some of things that have been occurring to me lately.  I'm in the process of making a Major move and Major changes in my life.  In preparing to make these changes, I have been evaluating the roles that various people play in my life. When Gary talks about needing to remember that it does not matter how many Twitter followers or blog readers, it made me remember that it does not matter how many friends I have collected, how many colleagues admire me, how many business associates I have contacts with.  It is about the quality of these relationships.  Now, I will admit that sometimes I get lost in believing that the more people I am able to surround myself with, the more people there are to make me happy, to reinforce the positives about myself, in general just to affirm my existence.    Occasionally it is nice to be reminded that I don't need anyone to affirm me.   What I need is myself and the positive power of a good Community.   And Gary has reminded me of that. He has reminded me that I not only need myself, I only need good, supportive dialogue with a single person and I have a solid Community.    

I'm one of the lucky ones, I've realized that I have a lot of people in my Community, good people, solid people, smart people, caring and inspiring people.  From the people I love, my family, my close friends, some business associates, my Twitter  peeps and the sweet people who take the time to read this, I'm blessed with this Community.   I have communications with them that range for the soulful to the silly, but in all of these, one thing is prevalent, these are people who in some aspect or another bring something to my life.  Education, entertainment, love, compassion, support and sometimes, even the occasional disagreement (which I usually need to wake myself up to something I need to pay more attention to!).   It is nice to not have to reduce my Community to a single person, it would be so hard to chose.  Instead, I chose to be grateful that I have these amazing people as a part of my life and that I get to have this amazing Ccommunication!  So BIG thanks to Gary for reminding me what my Community means to me, what it really is all about and why it is so important to nuture it. 

So I leave with you a couple of questions.  Who makes up your Community?  What are you doing to foster the communication that truly translate into a Community? And most importantly, how often do you let that Community know what they mean to you?  

Sometimes things come to us in such a timely manner, that it restores our faith in the patterns of the universe.  After having ignored my ReadBurner & GoogleReader for several days (way too many, don't even ask how long!)  I started to wade through through the massive amount of reading I had in front of me.   As usual, when I have built it up to that lovely 1000+  (you have to love when it is so many that they will intimidate you with 1000+ and not really tell you how many there are!) that GR intimindatingly shows me I have failed to keep up on, I'm skimming subjects and titles.  In my haste to clear, I almost skipped over this particular post, but something drew me back.  Not only because it was Gary V, but something about the title resonated with some of my recent musings. 

http://garyvaynerchuk.com/2008/06/05/when-do-you-know-you-have-a-community/

Gary talks about when you know you have a Community (yes capital "C").   Now, I'm not sure that I can ever be as eloquent as Gary, but I'd like to think I share his passion.  His focus is on the social media crowd, but I think his message can be expanded to many aspects of our lives.  He reminds us all that community = communication!  If you are having a dialogue with just one person, you have a Community.  

Gary's words reinforced things that have been occurring to me lately.  I'm in the process of making a Major move and Major changes in my life.  In preparing to make these changes, I have been evaluating the roles that various people play in my life. When Gary talks about needing to remember that it does not matter how many Twitter followers or blog readers, it made me remember that it does not matter how many friends I have collected, how many colleagues admire me, how many business associates I have contacts with.  It is about the quality of these relationships.  Now, I will admit that sometimes I get lost in believing that the more people I am able to surround myself with, the more people there are to make me happy, to reinforce the positives about myself, in general just to affirm my existence.    Occasionally it is nice to be reminded that I don't need anyone to affirm me.   What I need is myself and the positive power of a good Community.   And Gary has reminded me of that. He has reminded me that I not only need myself, I need good dialogue with a single person and I have a solid Community.    

I'm one of the lucky ones, I've realized that I have a lot of people in my Community, good people, solid people, smart people, caring and inspiring people.  From the people I love, my family, my close friends, some business associates, my Twitter  peeps and the sweet people who take the time to read this, I'm blessed with this Community.   

Recently I got to go see my friend Gloria at her home in Philadelphia.  She tried to show me as much of her beautiful, exciting city as possible. She knew that I like history so we went to see a lot of the historic sites, but we also took a day and went "down the shore".  It was funny to hear her say that, but I learned that in the Philadelphia and Southern New Jersey area, they do not call it going to the beach.  They go down the shore.

                  

                            Our adventures in Philadelphia started with a ride on a SEPTA bus.  SEPTA is the
        Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority.

We took the bus the Philadelphia Art Museum.  It was such a nice day that we decided not to spend the day in the museum.  Gloria told me all about the beautiful paintings and sculptures and I want to go back and see it another time.  It was fun seeing the outside of the Art Museum because the steps are famous.  They are the steps that Rocky ran up in the movie.  I also got to take my picture with the Rocky statue.  

We walked back into Center City (downtown) on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. It is very pretty with parks and fountains along the length.  It is also a very good spot to see the Philadelphia skyline.  See how pretty it is.

 Our walk down the Parkway took us through Center City and into the historic part of Philadelphia.  This area is called Old City because it is where the city originally started.  Several of the buildings are over 200 years old and there are even some streets that still have cobblestones. Philadelphia is an interesting city because there will be a little tiny very old building right next to a big skyscraper. 

We started our tour of the historic district at Penn's Landing.  This is the spot where William Penn landed when he came up the Delaware River and established the city of                                             Philadelphia.   From Penn's Landing you can see the Benjamin Franklin Bridge.  It was the                                         first bridge that crosses the Delaware River between New Jersey and Philadelphia.

Also at Penn's Landing, I got to see the Tall Ship Gazella.  The ship is very pretty with its very tall masts and sails.  There is a group in Philadelphia that works very hard on preserving the original ship.  It was very interesting to find out that they still sail this ship even though it was built in the 1800's.                                                                                                 
   .  From Penn's Landing we crossed a bridge over the highway onto Market Street. This led us into Old City and we started exploring all of the historic sites. Gloria was very nice and explained all of the history to me while we "playing tourist" as she called it.                                                                                           
          

One of the things I learned is that there are some beautiful parks scattered throughout
the city. We visited one next to Christ's Church.  Christ Church was founded in 1695.
That's over 300 years ago!  Several of the signers of the Declaration of Independence
were members of the church and for a very long time, it's steeple was the tallest thing
in the city of Philadelphia.  Our next stop was Elfreth's Alley.  It was like stepping
backwards into Colonial times.  Gloria told me that it is the oldest continuously
inhabited residential street in the country,  There are people who still live there now. 

                                                                     

From Elfreth's Alley, we walked around the    
corner to Betsy Ross' house.  It is the
house where she sewed the
original flag.  I never realized how
tiny Colonial houses were, even for
short people like Gloria and I. 
Betsy Ross was nice enough to take
a picture with me.   I also got to take a picture with a nice
Colonial lady named Mary who showed me how to knit.

Just down the street from Betsy Ross' house is the Christ Church burial yard.  It is were Benjamin Franklin is buried.  In my picture you can see the pennies that people throw on his grave for good luck.  Gloria says it is kind of funny that they do that since Ben Franklin is the one who said a penny saved is a penny earned.   Across the street from the cemetary is the Free Quaker Meeting House.  A meeting house is the Quaker version of a church.  It also served as a community meeting hall.   There was a very nice man named William who was telling everyone about the meeting house.   He showed me how to play the glass armonica (no, I did not mis-spell it) that you can see in my picture.  The glass armonica was one of Ben Franklin's many inventions.  It makes really beautiful music.

                                                                                                                     

Across the street from the meeting house is the US Mint and the National Constitution Center.   We couldn't take pictures in the Mint, but it was really cool to watch them make coins.  They were making pennies the day we were there.  Our penny adventures continued!   The National Constitution Center was just built in 2000 and it is the only museum in the United States dedicated solely to the Constitution.  At the time we were there, we got to see exhibits about the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and how the Constitution has changed throughout the history of the United States.  It was really interesting and fun.  

We saved the most historic places in the city for last, but before we walked over to them, Gloria wanted me to see a SEPTA subway station.  We walked down underground to the subway station.  It was a little scary, but I it was really cool too.  All of those trains running for miles underneath the city.

                                                                                                   

After a quick lunch, Gloria took me to see the last
two stops on my tour of Philadelphia.  Independence Hall
and the Liberty Bell.  We had to go through some really tight
security but it was really worth it.  The Bell is a lot bigger than I thought it would be. 
Independence Hall is very impressive.  It looks just like it did in Colonial times. 
It was very cool to stand in the same room where they signed the Declaration of Independence.

Wow, we had a very full day and got to see a lot of interesting and fun places.  I was really tired, but I couldn't wait for the next day.  We were going down the shore with Gloria's sons, Drew and Sean.

We went to Ocean City, New Jersey.  It is in Southern New Jersey.  Gloria explained to me that New Jersey residents are either from North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.  They say this because all three areas of the state are very different.  North Jersey is very industrial and suburbs of New York.  South Jersey is a lot of suburbs of Philadelphia and is more agricultural.  Central Jersey is a combination of the other two.  Ocean City is south of Atlantic City and is on an island.  The drive down to the shore was fun.  I got to meet and talk to Drew and Sean.  For teenagers, they are really cool and funny.   We did a lot of very fun things. It was a very sunny day and there were a lot of people on the beach and the boardwalk.  We went on the beach for a little while, but the water was still too cold to go into the waves.   We walked on the boardwalk, had pizza and french fries that were really good.  We stopped in the arcade and played skeeball.  There is a part of the boardwalk that has rides.  We didn't ride any because the ones that were not too scary for me were too little for Drew and Sean.  It was fun watching everyone else on the rides.  Gloria told me stories about when Drew and Sean were little and the rides they used to ride on this same boardwalk.  A lot of the rides were the same and we giggled about how silly it would be to see them trying to ride them now.   Drew and Sean's grandmother has a house in Ocean City so they have spent almost every summer at the shore.   The last thing we did before heading back home was to play miniature golf. I actually made a hole in one! 

  I had a great visit to Philadelphia!  There was so much more that I wanted to see, but Gloria promised I can come back anytime I want.  I can't wait!                                                                                                                  
 

This was passed on to me by an Army Brat friend. It so clearly expresses what is in my heart also

I am a Military Brat

My hometown is nowhere, my friends are everywhere. I grew up with the knowledge that home is where the heart is and the family....

Mobility is my way of life. Some would wonder about roots, yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak. I sink them quickly, absorbing all an area offers and hopefully, giving enrichment in return.

Travel has taught me to be open. Shaking hands with the universe, I find brotherhood in all men. Farewells are never easy. Yet, even in sorrow comes strength and ability to face tomorrow with anticipation....if when we leave one place, I feel that half my world is left behind. I also know that the other half is waiting to be met.

Friendships are formed in hours and kept for decades. I will never grow up with someone, but I will mature with many. Be it inevitable that paths part, there is constant hope that they will meet again.

Love of country, respect and pride fill my being when Old Glory passes in review. When I stand to honor that flag, so also do I stand in honor of all soldiers, and most especially, to the parents whose lives created mine. Because of this, I have shared in the rich heritage of Military life.

Anonymous

I try every day by spreading smiles, appreciation, and putting a little "gratitude in my attitude".    I offer random acts of kindness and help whenever possible to whomever possible.  But all of these things are just part of my character, ingrained in me since childhood as the right thing to do.  The things that I have tried to instill in my children so that they too will feel the need, the wonder and the joy of helping others and making their small mark on the world.

I also do something that is a little more personal.  There is a history of breast cancer in my family, so I participate in the Susan G. Komen For the Cure Breast Cancer 3-Day.   Rather than repeat all of the reasons, I'll just ask you to take a look here...

http://08.the3day.org/goto/gloriabelldc

&

http://08.the3day.org/goto/gloriabellphilly

What decisions have you made that you would change? And would they really have created as much of a change as you think?  Those are the questions.  The answers should be yes and maybe.  If it's not than you probably made the right decision in the first place. 

The consequences of almost all decisions, except maybe children, suicide or something that lands you in jail, can generally be changed by choosing to make a better decision now.  You also have to remember that we make decisions based on what we know and who we are at the time.  Thus, there really are few "bad" decisions, only ones that change your path in life, no matter how subtle.  The goal is to then look at the new path, decide if is the one you want to take or is there one less rocky or more scenic (unless you want rocks and urban sprawl) and begin turning towards that path.  Sometimes you may have to walk parallel to it until it merges, but with focus, faith and heart, you get on it eventually.  I'm living proof.  I made a lot of self-destructive decisions that not only impacted me but those around me.  It took a very long time and a lot of very painful soul searching to understand what I was doing and why (not to mention some good medications), but once I began to start seeing it, I was able to look at myself in a mirror again without the horror, grief and guilt I used to see.  I don't believe that any of us ever really "get there", no matter what decisions we make.  That is why life has to be lived as a joyous adventure to be explored and enjoyed.  So if you are not happy with the way some of your decisions turned out, it is up to you to decide is making the changes to the consequences of those decisions worth it to you.  If so, you begin the soul-searching that will reveal the steps you need to take to get back on the path you want to be following.  And never underestimate the power of prayer, no matter what you do or don't still believe, the stillness and quiet of unloading your soul to a higher power (yes, AA inspired, been there, done that) makes finding what you are looking for much easier.

So, the goal is to try and make understandable, well-reasoned, educated decisions, but at the times you don't, it is not the end of the world, you just have to make a decision to change your original decision.

What was the last great epiphany you had?
Submitted by Ross.

That life is not always going to be fair, but that does not mean it is bad or unliveable.

This is going to be a periodic post about the things we believed as children and young adults - or at least some of the things I believed.... Dear reader, please excuse how rambling and disconnected some of these thoughts may seem, they are more words from the heart than the head...  I was having a conversation the other day with a very dear friend that I had not seen or talked to in a very, very long time.  Our reminiscing brought up some thoughts that have been the inspiration for this and probably a lot of posts to come ....

Like a lot of kids, I used to believe that the older people were, the better decisions that they made.  Every year we got smarter and made better, more reasoned decisions. My parents and grandparents were the smartest of all.  Of course, you only believe that part until you are about 16, then you are not so sure, but you still want to believe.  LOL

Of course I believed that the older you were the better decisions you made, I was raised/conditioned (whatever you want to call it)  to believe that, even more than so than "civilian" (non-military) kids. Not only did we (military brats, in general) have the normal childhood/young adult trust & belief in those older than us, but the hierarchy system we grew up in significantly reinforced that.  The older you were, the higher rank you were likely to be, so you must be smarter and more trustworthy.   I still struggle with that mindset sometimes.  There were so many very different, both good and bad, things about the way we as military brats were raised and the environment we were exposed to, it should be expected that we would have a slightly skewed vision of life.

 

Our views on relationships, marriage and family are just one example of that.  When we were kids, how many of our military friends were divorced or single parents in comparison to the norm? I don't know the percentages, but I would imagine it is significantly lower.  My take is that we were given some false impressions of what marriage and family should be about.  A lot of us had parents who behind closed doors hated each other or were miserable together, but because of what the military expected of them and the benefits of the military lifestyle (especially the officers) they would never consider splitting up.  Even those of us who had parents with relatively happy marriages, like me, were indoctrinated with the "impressions are everything" state of mind.   I don't blame my previous inability to sustain a successful relationship solely on that upbringing (there were too many other factors that affected it) but it definitely played a part in who I am as a person.  To some degree, it still does.  the "need to put my best foot forward", to excel, the work ethic, the sociability are partially the Bell & Grubbs (Dad's & Mom's families) heritage and partially the Army brat that grew up inside me.

Now, don't get me wrong.  This does not mean that the things we learned and were exposed to were necessarily bad things.  They just were what they were.  What we take away from them depends on who each of us is inside and how we got there.   I  personally like to think that my life as an Army brat and my wonderful parents are what has made up the best part of me.  The screwed up parts - I'll just blame on my own choices and biology.

 So what were some of the things you believed in as a kid?  How have those beliefs changed?  How did they affect you?   What do you believe now?  Can't wait to hear what you have to say.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.  If it changes your life, let it.  Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you can't get them back.

What you do today is important because you are paying a day of your life for it.  What you accomplish must be worthwhile because the price is high.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Do Not make people a priority who only make you an option.

I hold to the rather old-fashioned belief that each of us is blessed with particular gifts given to us by God, and that it is our sacred obligation to identify, to cherish and to exercise those gifts for the betterment of ourselves and of those in our lives. (Dr. Phil)

The only time is now and the choice is yours.

Remember: If it is important to you, then it's important, period.

To have someone say to you - "No matter what life brings your love is always there" - is one of the greatest compliment yous can ever receive.

Life should be like the planet, ever slowly moving, ever slowly evolving, always, always with the promise of a bright new day ahead.

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, sing as if no one is listening and live every day as if it were your last.